Lightyear

105 min.

That after less than thirty minutes gone I felt like this film was rounding things up probably was a sign that I wasn’t going to particularly enjoy this film.

This film was much too long. I don’t know if the length is for the adults watching, but with it starting uptempo only to crash into a subplot to introduce the villain.. no child will manage to continue. Source: me in the theater surrounded by children running in all directions after forty minutes.

You don’t notice how long a film is if it’s good, but Lightyear is dull. The Life Lessons are laid on thick, the laughs are few. Who is this for, and what is it about?

Even though I didn’t pay for the ticket, it still feels like a waste of money.

Princess Mononoke

133 min.

Princess Mononoke has it all: horror, fantasy, beautiful shots, an epic quest and a sincere romance. Why didn’t I watch this sooner? I mean – I could have: it’s from 1997.

Probably because – and I know it’s risky to admit this – I like the idea of Studio Ghibli films more than the products. Sometimes it’s just too long, too vague, beauty over substance. It’s probably telling that one of the more kiddie ones caught my fancy most.

But Princess Mononoke pulls out of the stops: a cursed prince has to save his village (probably the world) from human evilry influencing nature and turning animals into demons. There’s a wolf princess but human, talking swines and weird little forest creatures that are simultaneously adorable and terrifying. The Life Lessons come at you fast, but not in the sanctimonious Hollywood way: what kind of person would you be if you weren’t touched by the fight of nature versus destruction?

I’ll admit that I still took a few short breaks, but this time it was more about being overwhelmed than suffering my short attention span.

Monster Hunter: Legends of the Guild

58 min.

I almost definitely picked this film because it was just two minutes short of an hour. Okay, I’m always up for trying something animated, but a film that’s called Monster Hunter and created by CAPCOM (so probably based on a game)? Let’s not expect too much.

It turns out to be a very sanitised version of a Hollywood fantasy (no blood, dancing around violence and maiming, no naked boobs). Except for the statistician monster hunter. And a talking cat, and fun looking monsters – whom I rooted harder for than any human character.

It’s clear that I out-aged the demographic for this, but the potential is there. Right now it’s just cheap (looking) Saturday morning entertainment for cool kiddos, but imagine if the people behind Witcher ran with it. Or a young Tim Burton. You might have to see to see it.

Bombay Rose

137 min.

I watched this because the animation looked lovely, and it turned out to be (it even uses different styles, and none of them the ugly Disney Pixar plastic). Good thing I didn’t watch it for the plot, because it was hard to be found. Maybe it’s a mosaic of different kinds of love? But there’s also the view from a bee?

It just shows that animation isn’t just for children. Here there’s mentions of poverty, abuse, the violence in Kashmir and the escape to a better financial life in Dubai, but also the risks that come with.

I clearly don’t know enough about Bollywood to not have expected this – I thought it was only romances and obvious heroes doing heroic things. I’m done with Indian animation for now (at least I finished this one, opposed to Punyakoti).

I did really like the soundtrack, though.

Over the Moon

100 min.

There could be more to this: why are the majority of the characters male, why is it the female protagonist that has to Learn Things while those around her show little growth and really – a villain because of a love lost?

But: it’s an Asian family without ever turning it into a thing, for once the animation isn’t incredibly ugly (there’s even some that look traditionally drawn), there’s no soundtrack that demands emotions from you (you’ll probably cry anyway) and it’s very colourful, slightly creative and mostly silly fun for different ages.

Anyway, Fei Fei wants to prove to her widowed father that there’s really a woman in the moon to prevent him from marrying someone else. Along the way she Learns Things.

Cosmos Laundromat

12 min.

Twelve minute short animated story about a suicidal sheep that is saved by a strange red-haired man. Oh, and it promises a -possibly explanatory – sequel but the people behind this project decided against producing it, so you just have to deal with that.

It’s so fun, though. Weird and beautifully made. Which cosmos laundry machine are we in right now, and am I a suicidal sheep in another one?

To end with an absolute cliché and therefore the opposition of what this film is: what a breath of fresh air in the ocean of ugly, uninspired, too long animation films.

NYE films

What’s ‘NYE’ about any of these films? Probably nothing, except that I watched all three of them on December 31 and January first. Maybe the start of a tradition.

Anyway, what they do have in common is a black male lead. With two out of three films the male lead is turned into something else, but baby steps. Right, Hollywood?

I would have liked it better if Soul would have been done with a female lead, but what do I know about soul music. For a film about one, it was definitely lacking one: just a lot of minutes going through the Kiddie-story-with-A-Life-Lesson storybook. And will Pixar ever move away from that hideous way of drawing people?

Spies in Disguise, then. This time the main character is turned into a pigeon to learn that there’s no ‘I’ in team. There’s also long action scenes, fat jokes, and pigeons-are-stupid/eat-everything repetitions that might make you slightly nauseous. Besides that, some genuine humour can be found, but that’s mostly on Will Smith’s charm.

Maybe I’ve outgrown Disney Pixar/Disney Fox-animations. When you can’t find any relief from picking things apart, it might be time.

For something completely different, I finished this holiday with Get Out. You might still remember the reviews and discourse which partly seemed to be led by “OMG, racism is the real horror??”.

I went in with plenty of knowledge (I’m a scaredy cat), but was still enjoyable uncomfortable, definitely in the first half. I always enjoy the humans-are-the-worst-monsters trope, and it delivers.
The second part is more traditional horror, but doesn’t go overboard enough to lose balance. This way, you’re stuck to your seat the entire time and only want to look away out of discomfort or disgust, not boredom.

All in all, the satisfying cinematic experience I felt I deserved after two days of disappointment.

Recently watched

A collection of films that definitely show my versatile watch list and/or all-over-the-place taste.

Jane Wants a Boyfriend – romcom with the main character being on the spectrum. The acting and dialogue isn’t all that, and some dialogue is (quite) outdated, but changing just one element shows that that you don’t need much to add a bit of fresh air to the genre.

If anything happens I love you – twelve minute animation about parents of a child killed in a school shooting. In case you need a quick sob.

My thoughts during Bloodshot:
– why is Vin Diesel still trying the humorless tough guy thing?
– Did Amalfi (Italy) get some kind of Hollywood deal? It’s everywhere!
– The villain gets a musical number?
– Woman fridged? Check.
– Don’t watch this if you’re not good with creepy crawlers.
– At least there’s no pretense here: this is for everyone who wants six minute long action scenes, again and again.
– A twist! Without a satisfying pay off!
All this could have happened in the early 2000s, but I guess companies weren’t clamouring to turn every comic book into a mediocre action film then.

The Cat Returns

75 min.

This might be my favourite Studio Ghibli. It’s less breath-taking in how it looks and how diversely weird the characters are, but I guess that it also makes it more accessible. Or that could be because it’s ‘just’ 75 minutes instead of the studio’s habit to go for two hours and over.

Is this a children’s film? I wouldn’t know, aren’t all of them? The style is of pastels and little chuckles, but with enough barbs for the viewer to scratch their head. Possibly.

Studio Ghibli

Sweet girl Haru risks her own life to save a cat. Turns out that that cat is a prince, and his father decides that Haru deserves eternal gratitude. Oh, and his son’s hand in marriage, because why not.

Haru is – understandably – a tad confused and rather doesn’t marry a cat. Good thing she gets help from an unlikely angle, and the catty balance is evened out.

The Cat Returns feels more traditionally like a fairy tale than other Studio Ghibli creations, and there’s less gruesome looks and characters. Maybe you should view it as an introduction to the studio. It will also help with preventing you from feeling slight frustration about every main female character from the studio looking the same, but maybe it’s already too late for that.

She-Ra

65 x 24 min.

Yes, I know, I’m surprised as well. This animated TV-show definitely took me a while to warm up to, and during the first two season (there’s five of them) I wouldn’t even have considered writing a blog about it. Somewhere near the end of season two, and/or the start of season three, it grabbed me. It grabbed me good.

She-RaBefore starting this show, I knew little about the previous incarnations of it and therefore didn’t feel the need to complain about how She-Ra isn’t a full-grown woman this time, nor about the lack of butt and boob shots (in an animated show, yes I know). It also means that I didn’t have any connection to it, and had to invest some time and energy to feel the connection.

She-Ra is fantasy, people with magic, bad guys that want to take it, colourful stuff, talking horses, but also teenagers, queer love, building your own family and views on power and the (ab)use of it. Especially when watching several episodes in a row you might notice some repetition, but as someone who skipped a few (there’s a character I could barely handle) I can say that you can still follow the main plot without confusion.

It’s also fun and bright and there’s so much heart in it, even though the shows of it sometimes made me feel a bit outside of the target audience/too old. Oh, and the animation is nice, instead of that try-hard, ugly as possible “adult” animation we have to suffer all too often.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Netflix 2018